Dare to Dream
by Twilight00768
Summary: You have flown a long way to be at the premiere of Thor: the Dark World. You have always dreamed of meeting Tom Hiddleston. But you never knew that you might have to save his life. Reader/Tom. Read from the point of view as journal entries. Mature for the safe side.
1. Your's or His?

December 31, 2014

Dear Diary, or whoever may end up reading this one day. Either way.

It has been over a year since the event that has forever changed me, forever changed us. I feel as if I should write it on paper before I lose every detail altogether.

I want to say that I am happy. Really happy. Christmas was wonderful, and now it is New Year's Eve. I have some time to write before the celebrations begin, so I will use it wisely.

This is about the day I met the man of my dreams, (cliché I know) and how we lived happily ever after (cliché I know too, but oh well).

And it is also about how we almost didn't.

But, please know that we are happy, that we found our way together. This has a happy ending I promise. 

* * *

><p>It was October 22, 2013.<p>

Odeon Leicester Square was the scene of only smiles.

I remember the excitement in the air, the screaming and shouting. I had come a long way, on my own, just to catch a glimpse of him. I didn't know if I even would, but it was worth a shot, what did I have to lose? I was dressed in my favorite jeans, and one of my favorite Loki shirts, just for good measure. It's the little details that sometimes count in the largest of ways.

His speech at the beginning was the only one I remember. The only one I wanted to pay attention to. I think everyone felt the same way, for the minute he spoke, a hush fell over all of us.

He was proud of the movie, proud of all of us who had come. Proud that he could share this moment with us. Proud to be just who he was. He said he felt lucky, blessed. We thought it was more, much more than that.

The movie went by in a blur, with all of us gasping, cheering, and breathing together. For just this moment in time, we were all here for the very same thing. The premier. And we are all there for him, for Tom, even though most wouldn't voice it.

I remember the credits rolling and the girl next to me was in tears because he hadn't died, Loki still lived. I remember smiling at her as her best friend held her hand. I think we all felt the same way. That Loki had not only stole the show, but our hearts. Boyfriends rolled their eyes, Thor nerds swooned. Everyone was in a fantastic mood.

Then we were outside waiting behind the ropes just to steal a glance at some of the actors or actresses that had come to enjoy themselves and promote the movie. There were smiles and autograph signings, hands shaken, pictures taken. There were jokes made, and light hearted conversation.

Then he came out.

He had finally made his next appearance to make his fans happy, like he always does. My breath caught in my throat. As he walked around he seemed to get closer and closer. Suddenly, he was only about thirty feet from me. If my heart could have stopped it would have. I didn't know what to say, I think I was more content on watching him than saying anything.

He turned. I caught his eye, and he caught mine. Then that damn smile came on his face and I swear I began to melt from the inside out. I felt like it was almost torture, what I was doing to myself, what he was doing to me. But I just smiled and waved, with him approaching my group behind the rope, the entire time.

Then I saw him. A man with a face so cold, I felt a chill run up my spine. He was making his way down the aisle, through the throngs of people right towards the main object of my attention, my affection. I looked back at Tom and back at this cold man, who was now looking intently and cruelly at Tom. I remember wondering to myself, how could a human being look so terribly at another?

Then I saw him reach inside his jacket and pull out a jet black gun.

I remember shaking, and wondering how the hell anyone let him get past the ropes, or even near Tom. But at that moment I made a choice without any hesitation.

I don't remember how fast I moved or the look of his body guards when I ran. I can't even tell you what I yelled when the first shots rang out.

But I can tell you the look on Tom's face after I had hit the ground and he was bending over me. Pure concern, pure panic. I think he had started to cry.

And I can even tell you the last thoughts that ran across my mind as I felt pain somewhere starting in my body:

_He must live. I must get him back to his family, to his mother. _

Then it all went black.

I think I drifted in and out of consciousness for months maybe even years; at least it felt that way. But when I finally came too, it was if I had been born again. The lights were to bright, the sounds around me were to loud. A strong smell of everything sterile hit my nostrils, hit me right in the face. But when I finally, fully opened my eyes, I knew where I was.

Then the panic set in.

Then the pain came in full force.

Then I began to shout until I thought the roof would fall down upon me.

"Tom! Where is Tom?! Is he alright? Is he alive? Somebody better tell me what in the hell is going on?"

I was aware I was in a hospital bed, but I had no knowledge of what hospital, no knowledge of what day it was. I didn't even know if the man who I admired the most was even alive. Then a nurse came in, trying to comfort me. Tears, there were a lot of tears.

Then she grabbed my face gently in her hands and looked into my eyes.

"Honey, he's fine. He's just fine. Now please relax while I get you some water. My name is Grace and I'm here for you."

I don't think I could have loved this nurse any more then I began to, the minute she said those words.

I sank my head back onto my pillow and realized I barely could move. I looked over to my left arm which was covered and wrapped and in a sling. Then I looked down at my legs and saw that my right leg was slightly elevated and in a huge, hard cast.

Then I fully realized, it was I who was hurt, I who was now in excruciating pain.

Grace came back in with a frown on her face and placed a cup of ice water in my hand. I looked at her not really knowing what to say.

"Don't worry dear I'll up your morphine a bit. And no you haven't been in a coma or anything like that. You've been in and out for three days."

I smiled at her. She had such a lovely voice. I could tell she was going to be a good friend for me in this hospital. Because lord knows I hate hospitals.

"What happened to my leg and arm?" I asked softly.

Her eyes suddenly changed from cheerful to serious in an instant.

"I think you better let him explain it to you."

As she said this she tilted her head towards the area to my right. I looked at her, confusion written all over my face, and as I turned my head I almost burst into tears.

There he was, in all his glory, with two cups of coffee in his hands standing in the doorway to the room.

"T-Tom?"

It was all I could get out before he rushed over to my side, leaning over me to hand Grace one of the cups of coffee that had been in his left hand. It was such a graceful, simple act, but I was transfixed for the moment on his lovely hand reaching over me. He immediately sat down in the chair to my right, and gripped my hand in his own.

All I could hear was the beeping from a monitor to my left, and the closing of the door as Grace exited the room.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I really wanted to be. But Grace and I have been up for over 12 hours straight and I needed a boost."

He was rambling, speaking so fast I could barely keep up.

"Tom! It's alright, please, please just tell me you're ok. You are, aren't you?"

"I am yes, I promise you."

But somehow I wasn't convinced. For my own volition I took his face in my hands I touched his shoulders, his chest, I tried to find anything, something wrong with him. He took my hands in both of his.

"Believe me, I'm fine. Physically anyway. And it's all thanks to you."

I stared at him trying to piece together what seemed like an incredibly hard puzzle.

_Because of me? What in Loki is going on?_

"Tom I need you to tell me what happened. I remember being at the premiere and the movie, and the cameras, and all of you being there. And laughter, and you coming towards me and-."

I paused remembering the cold faced man. And the gun. Suddenly I knew why I was in so much pain.

"The man? Where the hell is he? What happened?"

I began to grow hysterical again, but Tom touched my face and I calmed down.

"He's in jail at the moment, and will be as long as I have a say."

"What was his name?"

"Charlie."

I could feel my eyes burning with tears, but I stayed calm, I had to let him speak. I had to hear what happened, how we ended up at this moment.

"Shall I continue?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yes." I murmured.

So he told me of how he had started to come towards my group by the rope. He knew how excited we all were to meet him, and he said that my group seemed the loudest. I don't remember us screaming or shouting but apparently we were. He had begun to take a pen out of his pocket to sign the pictures and pieces of paper we were holding out to him. Then he saw my face change. It went from pure happiness to confusion, from confusion to terror.

Next thing he knew, I had apparently ducked under the ropes, and ran towards him. His security couldn't even react fast enough. They thought I was attacking him. But then they heard the shots. I had been hit in my leg and shoulder before Tom and I hit the ground. His staff raced towards the man I had seen and tackled him to the ground, easily disarming him. He had revealed himself the minute the gun went off.

Apparently he had been a former fan, and when Tom never answered his letters or sent him any autographs, he went mad with rage. He hadn't been a normal fan, he had been obsessed from the beginning. And when he didn't get what he wanted, he decided to act.

"When I had realized what had happened, that you had saved me, I knew I had to do something. I tried keeping you awake, but there was just so much blood, and you were losing consciousness. One of my staff called the Great Ormond hospital and they came and took you from me. But I drove over here myself, and I haven't left your side. You had surgery right away. The bullet in your shoulder did no damage, it is just a flesh wound. The one in your leg however was embedded in your femur. It took longer to remove it, but the surgeons did a wonderful job. They say you'll make a full recovery. But it will take some time, and a lot of physical therapy."

_And mental therapy I'm sure._ I thought to myself.

He sounded so emotional, and he started to tear up. I sat there trying to process it all, when I began to laugh. He looked at me confused, but he didn't take his hands from mine.

"Why are you laughing?"

I stopped and looked at him with a smile.

"Because I'm the girl who saved Tom Hiddleston."

He looked at me pensively. Then my face turned somber.

"And everybody on this planet will hate and criticize me. I'm just letting you know now, I didn't save you because I thought it would bring me fame, or fortune or anything. I didn't save you because I thought that I would get something out of it."

Suddenly I couldn't look at him. I felt ashamed at something I couldn't quite grasp. I looked away as tears flooded my eyes, and I began to cry.

"You should go. You shouldn't stay here. I'm sure the press and anybody who wants a freaking picture or story is here, and of course there is your reputation to think of."

I started sputtering, I couldn't control my crying. All I wanted was to keep him safe and alive. But now what was to become of the aftermath?

"Stop! Stop, you need to listen to me, and very carefully. I don't give a damn about what anybody says, or thinks, or knows. All that matters is that we are both alive, and you saved me and a lot of people from what could have been certain death. I am not leaving your side, just as I haven't since I arrived at this hospital."

He was so sure of himself, so confidant, and here I was a mess, a bloody freaking mess, and this beautiful man was going to stay with me, by my side.

"Tom I-."

"No. That's the end of the discussion."

He looked at me for a long time not saying a word. But still, his hands remained in mine. I looked down at one point to see our locked hands and I almost laughed out loud again. Over three days ago I came to London to see if I could just glimpse him while enjoying the movie premiere. I chose to come to London because I love visiting and I knew it would be the best opportunity to see him. And now, I had saved his life, had gotten shot in the process, and now we were holding hands as if the sun wasn't coming up tomorrow. It looked as if I had gotten more than I ever expected I would.

Suddenly I wondered if I wasn't just a simple fan, but if I was obsessed. Was I any different than the cold man with the gun? I mean I saved my money, and _flew_ hundreds of miles to see him.

"Christ." I whispered.

"What is it?" He asked softly.

I shook my head, and sighed.

"Nothing."

He looked at me suddenly very serious, but also very curiously.

"May I ask you something? That is, if you feel you can answer it."

"Yes." I said instantly.

"Why did you save me? I know that might seem like such a silly thing, or irrelevant thing to ask, but I need to know."

I smiled and looked him in his crystal blue eyes, and spoke slowly, so he wouldn't miss a word I was going to say.

"For a few reasons. The first being, is that I am absolutely terrified of death. It frightens me completely and wholly. I have accepted that it is every human's fate. I have. But here is what I could not accept."

I paused as I began to get choked up again. He squeezed my hand as I steadied myself, urging me to go on.

"That this man, this cold man, Charlie, was going to decide it for you. That he was going to try, and kill the one person in this world who I admire, who has inspired thousands of people to do the right thing when it comes to charity. Who makes us laugh with his crazy antics, and stunts. Who brings us joy through reading poetry, and his acting. Who brings us happiness by being just you. He was going to bring you into that terrible abyss, or whatever comes next, without your permission. Without it being the right time. The second reason, was that I had a choice. I had the choice of turning around and running for my life and letting you and possibly other people die. Or I had the choice of making a difference in your and their lives. Of trying to save you. Do you know what my last thought was that I can remember before I passed out?"

He shook his head no. He was very quiet, listening to everything, absorbing it all.

"It was that _you _must live. I must get you back to your family, to your I thought of your mother. It's funny there are a million things I could have thought of but all I could think was that you were a son, and brother, and I had to get you back to your family. I had to."

I started to cry again, but he didn't wait a single moment he wrapped me in his arms as best as he could, and rocked me back and forth.

Through my tears I kept talking trying to make him see.

"I did it for you Tom, and for all of those who love you, and look up to you. And those who cannot wait to see what you will do next. I did it for me, so I would always know that you were still in this world doing what you love, and letting me see you do what you love."

At this point I was crying into his chest. He didn't say a word, he just kept rocking me back and forth. He stroked my hair, and let me hold him as long as possible. When I quieted I could here is heart beat.

"You see, this is why I saved you. So your heart, your very soul, could keep on beating."

As I pulled back to look at him, he smiled so warmly, I swear I thought I was going to start crying all over again. God how could I be so unglued?

"No more tears. For now anyway. I would like to see you smile now. I understand why you did what you did, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really don't know how to repay you. But I can promise you that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I owe you my life." He said slowly.

I gave him my best smile as I looked at his face. He seemed calm, almost at peace. Like I had given him something that I couldn't name.

"Now, Grace will be back any minute to help you with some comforts, and she is going to go over some things with you."

He suddenly got up and reached for his coat which was draped over a chair. I started to panic as I saw that he was leaving. The minute he saw the terrified look on my face he came back towards me.

"Don't worry, I won't be long."

"Where are you going?" I asked quickly.

"To fetch your mother from the airport."

I stared at him dumbfounded. What did he just say? Then I realized I wasn't home. For the minutes that I had been with him I was lost in my own little world. I finally fully woke up and remembered I was in London.

"You are?"

"Of course. The minute I got to the hospital, and was given your things, I found your mother's number in your cell phone and called her. I made all the proper arrangements, and she is due at the airport in about an hour."

I swear my heart grew bigger. Remember that line from How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss?

_"His heart grew three sizes that day."_

Tom was continuing to do that to me. How much love and compassion had this man had to give? I didn't know.

But I was pretty sure I was going to find out.


	2. 2 Wrongs Make it All Alright Tonight

January 1, 2015

The celebrations were wonderful last night. I couldn't have been happier. We spent the whole evening holding hands and with our arms around each other. Stealing kisses when no one was looking. The fireworks were absolutely fantastic. They reminded me of all the wonderful lights I have in my life. But I digress.

When my mother arrived at the airport, she was already getting hysterical; so Tom told me. But once he greeted her, she seemed more at ease. He had set up for her to fly first class, and when they landed, she was taken to a special pick up area where no one could see them. Tom was in no mood for any of the public's nonsense. So he was the only person, along with some of his body guards to greet my mother when she came in. To this day my mother can't stop saying how wonderful and accommodating he was. And I always make fun of her that she fell for his good looks. To which she always blushes incessantly.

I was reading a magazine when Grace came in to give me a bath. Yes people, a sponge bath. As If having to deal with a catheter and other annoying issues wasn't enough. But I was patient with her, because let's face it I hadn't bathed in three days. If I was going to be spending time with Tom I was going to at least try my best to look good. And I'll admit, when she was done I felt amazing. She even did my hair for me. I started to feel somewhat better.

Then my mother walked in, Tom trailing behind her.

And of course, like any other caring, loving, _smothering _mother would do, she burst into tears and held me for like 2 hours. I didn't mind though. She did it because she's always cared.

That and the fact that I hadn't seen her in a year. But, that's another story.

Once she calmed down, Tom and I explained the situation as best as we could, telling her I would be fine. My surgeon, his name was apparently David, and Grace came in to even show her my x-rays and charts. Finally after what seemed like years to me, she was convinced.

"I'm just glad you're alive. And I am so very proud of you. You always knew how to do the right thing."

She smiled and puffed up like a proud peacock. I laughed but I was glad. I loved it when my mother said she was proud of me. Hell, I just really loved my mom.

Finally around 8PM it was time for them to go. Tom apparently had made reservations at a five star hotel, with all the pampering and entertainment she could ask for. I think it was called the Haymarket Hotel. Needless to say my mother was overwhelmed, but extremely grateful. I wasn't surprised at all. Tom was giving his best for me, so I wasn't surprised that he would do the same for the woman who gave life to me.

Before they left Tom turned back and came to my side. I was in PJ's that he had brought me; among other things. Yes the man bought me clothes. I couldn't believe it. He had literally gone shopping for me before he picked my mom up at the airport. Anyway, I was feeling rather comfortable, and sleepy, so I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if I had really been awake. To this day Tom won't tell me which it is, he likes to keep it a mystery. But once again, I digress.

He came over to my side, and gently took my right hand in his, and he leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek. I remember blinking in complete and utter astonishment, like I was waking from a really great dream. He smiled at me and said goodnight. And off he and my mother went. Grace had just walked through the door as they left, and she must have seen the dumb smile plastered on my face because I heard her chuckle.

"Grace?"

Awestruck in my voice. Geeze you thought I'd just been kissed by a celebrity or something.

"Yes dear?"

"Did you up my morphine?"

"No dear. You haven't needed it since this afternoon."

"Huh."

Grace just shook her head at me. I looked at her but she didn't say anything only a smile plastered on her face. Dream or no dream something was up. But I let it go.

The next few weeks passed by in a blur. But Tom and my mother were there by my side every day. But one thing that started to puzzle me, was that my mother would leave for a couple hours every day. Never the same time, and never for the same length of time. I wondered what she was doing when she went out, but she always said she was just out enjoying the sights of London. So I let it go.

It gave time for Tom and I to really get to know each other. We talked about everything. From our childhoods to present day. Our likes and dislikes. HIs new upcoming projects with Coriolanus, and new movies. We talked about his future with Marvel. We talked about the moon and the stars. Our dreams, our families. Our parent's divorcing when we were both young. Our past loves. Our lives. We laughed a lot, and sometimes cried. We had so much in common I didn't even know how to process it all.

His staff was updating us on the situation with Charlie daily. I hadn't heard a word even about what the press was saying. Tom wouldn't tell me. I wasn't even allowed to watch TV if he wasn't with me. I thought it was a little controlling at first, but I let it go.

Then one day, as we were watching a movie, which I really can't tell you what it was. (When I was with Tom I didn't really pay attention to anything or anyone but him. It was really hard not to.)

His mother came to visit.

I really couldn't tell whether or not she completely loved me or hated me. On one hand I had saved her son's life. On the other hand, her son was now spending all of his free time with me. When she came to visit I was apprehensive, even though Tom assured me everything would be fine. When she walked into the room I think I became the most humbled person ever.

The first thing she did was hug me. Then she hugged her son. And then there was nothing but silence for a whole two minutes. But it was the longest two minutes of my life.

"So you are the one who saved my son." She asked.

"Yes I am." I answered hesitantly.

She suddenly gave me a warm smile, and clasped my hand in her own.

"Then I owe you everything. What you did for me and my family, and for Tom, can never be repaid."

"Him being alive and well, is enough repayment for me. Believe me." I said softly.

She nodded in affirmation and stood up, letting go of my hand.

"Well, when you are fully recovered you must come and see us. We would be honored. Tom, I expect to see you in a few days time for our family get together?"

He nodded and stood up, giving her a kiss goodbye. She looked at the two of us one last time and slipped out without another word.

"Tom-what was that about? I can't tell if she was happy to see me or what?"

"She was happy believe me. I think she is just still dazed about the whole thing."

I nodded and just accepted it for what it was. Something still seemed off, but I put it behind me.

The next week my arm sling came off and my shoulder felt better than ever. It felt good to have use of my left arm again. But my leg was still in repair.

After a full month had passed my doctors and nurses said I had one week left to go before I would be fully able to be discharged and able to travel again. I was happy as I was tired of my hospital room, (although it was much better than ICU since I was transferred), and I wanted to be able to go back to normal life. The only thing that killed me inside was that going back to normal life, meant going back into a life without Tom.

We had grown close, and even when he left to go home each night, a slight panic would rise in my chest. Would he be ok? Would someone try to kill him again? But I was smart, and so was he. We exchanged numbers the first week in the hospital. Every night he got home he would text me to let me know he was fine. And of course he didn't go anywhere without his security. Whom I got to know very well. On another night very similar to the one's we had shared before, we were texting each other.

**Did you get home ok?**

**Yes. I did thank you, as always.  
>Are you alright? Comfortable?<strong>

**Yes, Grace even fluffed my pillows for me haha.  
>She is so sweet! <strong>

**Yes she is. **

**Just like you. **

I remember I giggled out loud when I read this. And then I mentally slapped myself for giggling like a school girl. But it felt wonderful. I was giddy. And then I thought:

_Did he really just say that? What?_

I was lucky Grace wasn't in the room. She probably would have made fun of me.

**?**

**Sorry. Thank you. You are to you know.  
>Sweet I mean. And sensitive. And you<br>have been so wonderful to me.  
>My mother totally loves you. <strong>

**Well she loves you more  
>I think. And your mother<br>is a wonderful person.  
>Just like you. I can see<br>where you get it from. **

** Tom, why are you saying  
>these things? Is everything<br>alright?**

**Everything's fine. I am  
>just happy. Completely. <strong>

I never answered for a I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion, and sheer happiness. I don't know when our relationship changed, or the dynamic. But something was different. I couldn't even tell if I was living a real life anymore, or if I was just stuck in one continuous dream.

The next day when Tom arrived, he had one of those goofy stupid silly grins on his face that doesn't come off unless you tried to rip it off.

"Now what on earth are you up to sir?" I teased.

"I have a little surprise for you. Well, people that it is."

I cocked my eyebrow quizzically. What is he talking about?

"There are some people here who really want to meet you."

And then one by one, every main actor and actress from the Avengers walked in.

I don't know if laughter was what they were really expecting, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't believe I had all these people in my hospital room, or that it was even allowed. But once I stopped, I started to cry because all these wonderful people were there; Chris Hemsworth stepped forward.

"We have come because it would seem, that you have done something wonderful for one of our dear friends here."

Then Scarlett stepped forward.

"In all serious and honesty, Tom called us here today because he wanted us to meet the woman who saved his life. He also told us you are a big fan of the movies and all of us as actors and actresses and we wanted to do something that you would love."

"When you saved him, you saved us. You saved my best friend." Hemsworth said softly.

I looked around at Samuel, Robert, Mark, Robert Clark, Cobie, Chris Evans, Chris, all of them, and then I lost it. These people took the time to come and see me. I wasn't a kid, but at the moment I wanted to be one. I appreciated what they had done. At first I thought them coming was just too much for someone as insignificant as me, but it was a gesture that I know I would appreciate for the rest of my life.

"I don't know what to say, you all being here. Thank you, this really is a wonderful surprise."

They spent the whole day with me. All of them. They ordered in food, and we all hung out together and talked and laughed. I fell in love with every single one of them. And I don't mean as a lover, I mean who they were as people. They were amazing, they had this light that just radiated from them. Like they could never have a bad day. I appreciated every single one of them.

By the end of the day I was thoroughly exhausted, but in the highest spirits I had ever been. When everyone said their goodbyes they all gave me their numbers so if I ever needed anything from them I could call. They said there were in my debt. I thought I was in theirs. Once again, I was speechless. Finally it was Tom, Hemsworth, and I. I could tell how close the two were and I didn't mind that Chris wanted to stay a bit longer.

"Hey Hiddleston, do me a favor and grab me that six pack that I left in the car would ya?"

Tom just rolled his eyes and left to head downstairs. I was a bit perplexed because I figured Chris would want to leave by now. And by the fact that Tom was the one to get Chris's beer.

"So now that I have you alone, I want to ask you something." Chris stated.

"What is it?" I asked.

He was making me feel nervous. This was one of Tom's best friends. I did not want to piss him off.

"How do you feel about Tom?"

The question caught me off guard, I hadn't expected him to ask me such a thing.

"How do I feel about him? I feel everything about him. Happiness, joy, excitement, caring. He is a wonderful man, what more can I say? He has stuck by me through all of this, and spending time with him has been amazing. And if I could take those bullets for him again, I would."

Chris shook his head in agreement, and cleared his throat.

"But do you love him?"

That stopped me in my tracks. Not to mention I felt like I got punched in the gut. I remember my mouth dropped open. I remember looking at Chris and not saying a word. But he could see it in my eyes.

"You do don't you?"

I looked down at my clasped hands in my lap.

"Yes." I murmured. "I really do."

I looked back up at his face and I could see he was smiling.

"Good. Because I approve you know. You two are perfect for each other."

"What?"

"Oh come on You don't see the way he looks at you? Or how he always has to be sitting or standing close to you? I think it's very obvious." Chris smirked.

I just shook my head. I knew over the past month we had grown close, but I didn't think we would be _that _close.

"I'm sorry Chris, maybe I am oblivious about this, but I thought Tom was with someone."

He flat out laughed at me. Flat out.

He took my hand in his and looked me squarely in the face.

"Darling, there hasn't been anyone in a long time. At least not until you showed up. Think about it, how many hours a day when he Isn't working, or doing some function, is he at this hospital?"

When I thought about it, it was a lot. I mean _a lot._ He was at least always here to say goodnight to me every night at the end of visiting hours.

"A lot, you're right. But that doesn't mean he loves me."

"Believe me, I am his best friend. I know. He does, trust me. He might take his time, but he does."

Chris let go of my hand and laid back against the chair he was sitting in. I was about to say something else when, as if on que, Tom walked in. He looked curiously at us and stared at Chris wondering what we had been talking about.

"Well Chris I checked like a million times and there is no more beer in your car. But you better get that thing cleaned before you give it back to the rental company."

"Oh sorry man I thought I had another one in there. Well no worries. I should be getting back to the hotel anyway, it's seven and I promised some of the others I'd hang out for awhile. Will you be joining us?" Chris asked nonchalantly.

"Eventually. You go on ahead I'll meet you later."

Chris grabbed his things, gave me and Tom hugs, and waved as he headed out. Now it was just the two of us. We had just under an hour before he would have to leave.

"So what would you like to do before I have to go?" Tom asked.

I thought about it. I was tired, but filled with adrenaline from the whole day.

"Will you read me some poetry? I need to relax now."

He smiled that dazzling smile, pulled up a chair, and took out his phone.

"How can I say no? Just name it, and I'll read it."

I thought about it, but it didn't take long for me to decide.

"There is a poem I just love, it's one of my favorites. One you haven't read to me yet. It's called 'I Carry Your Heart With Me' by E.E. Cummings."

He smiled. In an instant he had it on his phone and began to read in his beautiful soft voice:

"I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart.  
>I am never without it.<br>Anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done  
>by only me is your doing, my darling.<p>

I fear no fate. For you are my fate, my sweet.  
>I want no world. For beautiful you are my world, my true.<br>And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant.  
>And whatever a sun will always sing is you.<p>

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows.  
>Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud<br>and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;  
>which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide.<br>And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart."

I had closed my eyes so I could listen and fully enjoy his voice. It was absolutely wonderful. When he was finished I opened my eyes to see him staring at me intently. I sat up in my bed, and took his hand in mine. All was quiet. Suddenly he started leaning towards me, so I leaned towards him. Unexpectedly a line from another E.E. Cummings poem came to mind:

_Tiptop said he.  
>Don't stop said she.<br>Oh no said he._

_Go slow, said she. _

Because that's what it was; slow. Time seemed to stand still but I didn't rush no matter how badly I wanted him to kiss me. And then like a fire put out by the coldest bucket of water, he pulled away. He cleared his throat, and stood up so suddenly.

"Well, this was a wonderful day, and I hope you enjoyed everything. I really have to be going I promised since I had the cast out here I would spend time with them if that's alright with you?" He asked timidly.

I sat there a bit dumbfounded but shook myself out of it.

"Yes of course. Thank you so much for today. It meant a lot. Everything you have done for me has meant a lot."

He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek like he had done every night since I was in the hospital. But this time was different. This time felt final.

"I'll text you later when I am home alright?"

"Ok. Tell everyone I said thank you again. See you tomorrow?" I asked.

He grabbed his jacket and bag and turned around to look at me. But his eyes were sad.

"Yes. Goodnight."

And with that he left. Left without a hug, without another touch.

He didn't call or text me that night.

He didn't come the next day.

And I was too scared to reach out to him. But my heart was breaking into two.

My last week at the hospital went by without incident. My doctors and nurses, especially Grace were almost sad to see me go. Grace and I had especially become close. I think she was almost more sad for me than I was. I hadn't seen or heard from Tom the rest of the week. All I heard from was his staff informing me of when I was to appear in court for Charlie's trial. When I asked about Tom they just said he was busy.

So on a cold and rainy Sunday in December, the 8th to be exact, my mother and I flew home. It was the first time I had flown first class and it was wonderful. But I couldn't fully enjoy it. It was just another reminder of him.

He hadn't come to see us off. He left a note for my mother at the hotel, and one last text for me.

**I hope you have a safe flight home  
>and you enjoy first class. Let me<br>know when you land. **

**Ok. Thank you for everything. **

**You're welcome. **

**Tom? Are we Ok? Why  
>didn't you come see me?<strong>

But I received no answer. And when we finally touched down in America, and I told him we landed safely, I received no message then. When we got home, I sat on my mother's guest room bed, and she held me as I cried. And I cried like I had never cried in my life.

_So this is what a broken heart feels like. _


	3. Good Intentions

January 7, 2015

It's been raining today. All day it seems. But it's a good thing we are stocked with tea, Earl Grey to be exact, and have such a lovely fireplace to keep us warm.

It's days like today, when there isn't much to do and the rain beats upon the windows, that you can curl up with a good book, or nap. Or in my case write, while he sits next to me reading a book. He does not know what I write about. He doesn't ask. He's respectful like that.

I know things seem very sad and dismal in my tale at this point, but be cheerful. As I said, this has a happy ending.

It was February. About three months had passed since I last saw him. I was fully healed and out and about and back at my job. My wounds had mended nicely. Although I couldn't vouch for the wound on my heart.

When I got home I was able to feel the full extent of the media and the press. It seems everyone around the world knew who I was. The funny thing however, was that I was not met with resentment but with praise. I spoke only once to the media and told them the exact thing I told Tom.

They thought it was sweet.

I had stayed with my mother until January until things could calm down, and then flew back home. After awhile people left me alone, and occasionally I would run into someone who would profusely thank me for saving their idol's life. It got easier to talk to people like that.

I still hadn't heard anything about Charlie. I was supposed to appear in court sometime in March, but no one had contacted me with anymore details.

Going back to work wasn't too hard as I loved what I did. Getting back into the swing of things really wasn't all that bad. And I promised my mother I would come back and visit her soon. We had some of our old wounds that had been taken care of and we were now healing as well.

The days passed and no word from him, but I followed everything in the news. On Coriolanus, and his performances. I even went to a showing at a theater I found about an hour and a half near me. I cried almost the whole time I saw it. He was absolutely brilliant.

The people around me couldn't understand my tears. But a girl around my age, who had sat next to me, put her arm around me. She had come alone too, and I knew that she knew who I was. But maybe she understood in some apathetic way what my pain was. I don't know. Her name was Lila.

After that we became good friends, and often hung out together. She asked me only once about why I cried that day. I said I'd tell her someday. We left it at that.

February turned into April, and still nothing. I had called a few times during the course of those months, but by April I decided to just leave it alone. What was the point when I knew he wouldn't answer? But the messages I left weren't pleading ones. They were just to tell him how I was doing, how work was. How I was getting along with friends, and visiting my mom. The plane ride was only an hour, so I took every opportunity to see her. I left messages that told him I hoped he was doing well, and saw his performance and thought it was wonderful. How he was such a great actor and always would be.

I wondered often if he could hear the pain in my voice. Or if he was even listening.

There was still no word about the trial. I almost stopped caring about that too. Almost.

I called my mother on a windy day in April. I hadn't seen her in a month and decided it was time for another trip.

"Hey mom."

"Well hello baby how are you?"

"Doing fine, mom. I was wondering if I could come visit for a week or so? My boss says he'll give me the time."

"Of course. You know you always can!"

So in two days time I flew out.

Whenever I'm at my mom's I always feel at home. It's amazing what a mother's love can do for you. We ran errands together, I helped her cook. We went to the movies, and pigged out on junk food.

One day we were lounging in the living room, reading together. We had just gotten home from a walk on the beach so we were taking the time to relax. I remember I either had to go to the bathroom, or grab something from my suitcase. Either way, when I came back to the living room, my mother was at the front door. She had a stricken look on her face. I walked over to where our easy chair was and stood behind it, leaning against it gently.

"Mom what's wrong?" I asked tentatively.

She turned to me with this look on her face. It's still burned into my mind. It was a face that was a mixture of protectiveness and resentment. I don't think I had ever seen it before in my life.

"There is someone here to see you."

I looked at her puzzled, but I obliged.

She stepped aside and let me open the front door. Suddenly I was greeted by a lot of noise, and flashes. But they weren't close to me. A whole bunch of people had been pushed back to the end of our property, and there were cameras just at the ends of my mother's circular driveway.

"What in the hell?"

I was perplexed, and annoyed. I thought they were done with my story. I didn't understand what all these people were doing here. Until I saw Chris begin to walk down my driveway towards me.

_Ok either I'm still in the hospital in a coma, or I'm dreaming. This CANNOT be happening._

I stood on the front steps, my hand gripping the railing. I tried to look as tall as possible. I felt intruded upon. Not to mention no one even bothered to call me. Always have to do things the hard way.

When Chris came within half the distance to me, I decided for my own sake I would do this my way. The people wanted a show? Than I would give them one.

"That's close enough. What are you doing here?"

Chris seemed slow to speak. Probably the look on my face stopped him. Hell I probably could have turned men to stone by that point without Medusa's help.

"I come with-well let's just say a man's last plea. "

I felt confused. What in the hell was he talking about. I mean there was such a thing as a telephone. Could have used it!

"Well then, go ahead before I go back inside and forget about all of this."

He could tell I was angry. Not at him per say, but he knew.

"I have someone here with me who wants to speak with you. He wants to know if he can?"

My heart jumped for just a second. But I didn't get my hopes up. If he hadn't called me, or come to me these past few months, why would he now?

Suddenly my blood began to boil. Seriously? We are going to do this in front of like thousands of people? In front of the whole freakin world to see?

"I don't really know why I should bother with this. It's called a telephone, or email, or even writing a letter. Why all the fuss? Why all of this-all of this _attention_?" I asked angrily.

Chris stood stock still. That had thrown him off for a second or two. But as I knew, he was a clever guy.

"Let's just say actions speak louder than words. And a grand gesture may go a long way."

Suddenly I felt so tired. So weak. After all the stress of the past months of wondering if I was ever going to see him again, or if the trial was ever going to happen, I felt deflated. Suddenly I didn't care.

"So be it." I sighed.

I turned back behind me to look at my mom. She had remained behind the front door, but when I turned to look at her she gave me a small smile. I needed her confirmation that this was the right thing to do. That everything would be alright. Even though I didn't know myself. She nodded toward me. That was a good sign. I turned back to look at Chris and nodded that it was ok.

Suddenly a hush grew over my spectators as Chris made his way towards me. This time I stopped him in the middle of the drive way.

"Before you come any closer, tell me if he is here."

Even though I knew what the answer was. Chris sure as hell didn't come here by himself. Why would he? I guess I just needed to know once and for all. My heart was going to fly out of my chest.

So he turned around and signaled to something, or someone. Then there he was getting out of a black car, in all of his stupid, hot, cute, freaking glory. It was him. It was Tom. He stood there waiting for me to make a move. My knuckles grew white as I gripped the wooden railing of my porch hard.

_Coward._

Is this real life? He was hiding in the car the whole time? Well I guess he wanted a way to make a grand entrance. I calmed myself down. I knew there had to be a good reason for this whole thing. At least there better be.

I took a shaky breath and finally found my voice. I swear to Odin you could hear a pin drop.

"Tom. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" I asked firmly.

Pleasure my ass. I was not pleased at all believe me.

He looked up at me. I had never seen so much pain in someone's eyes. Except my own when I caught my own reflection in the mirror. My heart lurched. Could it be true? That he has been in the same amount of pain these past months that I have been? But then why not do something about it? I decided to shut my thoughts off and wait for an answer. I took a few steps down off the porch and walked slowly down the walkway.

"I have come for your forgiveness." He stated.

The words were spoken loud and clear for everyone, including my mother who was _still_ inside the house, to hear.

This was when I began to lose my resolve.

"And what do you want me to forgive?" I asked softly.

"Everything." He stated simply.

I wasn't sure what to do, or what was expected of me. Or what I expected of myself. So I started making my way slowly towards him.

"Everything? Is that _really_ what you want to say? Because I can forgive many things. But, leaving me when I needed you, leaving me when I loved you, and leaving me when I wasn't ready to be left. I am not sure how I can forgive that."

By now I had tears coming down my cheeks, but yet I still stayed calm. I stopped within a couple feet of him. By now the crowd was totally silent. All I could hear were the cameras flashing. I could barely see, blinded by my tears.

"So, Tom, what is it that you really want? Is forgiveness the only thing you have come here for?"

The words floated on the wind barely loud enough for the trees to hear. I blinked once and just stared at him. And then he moved.

Within seconds he closed the gap between us, and he caught my lips in the most smoldering kiss I had ever experienced.

He pulled away slightly and brought his lips to my ear and whispered softly:

"That is how I should have kissed you that night. I'm sorry I didn't."

He kissed me again softly, and I could feel it. His regret, my regret. We were two souls who had been starved of each other.

He pulled away again so he could speak. I was frozen in his grasp, as he had his hands around my shoulders.

"But in answer to your question, it is this: you. I want you. I have been a fool, and for that I am sorry. I ran away from you, when I should have been running towards you. I was not myself. I had never felt this kind of love before. I was afraid if I gave into it, I would have my heart broken."

I looked up at him to see tears flowing from his eyes. I wiped one from his cheek, and kept my hand there to feel his warmth.

"Is this really my Tom talking?"

He smiled at me and pulled me to his chest in a tight embrace.

"It really is me saying this I promise. I did this for you. I wanted to let the world know how much I love you. No more secrets. No more covering up how I feel."

Suddenly he pulled away and kneeled before me. He looked at me with this calm, but pleading face. He took my hands in his.

"I want to know if we can start over. If we can be together the way we should have been from the beginning."

I dropped to my knees in front of him. Suddenly I felt weighed down by both my pain, and his. I tilted his face up towards mine, and I could see the pleading in his eyes. It was funny, even though he was not in costume, he looked like Loki in that moment just before he let go of Thor's hand at the end of the first movie. I decided right there and then I never wanted to see him so broken again. (However seeing him dressed as Loki, that was something I would ask for later. Most _definitely._)

I pulled him up with me, and turned towards everyone around me. My mother had finally come out of the house and was watching us intently.

"Yes I will. On one condition: If you ever leave me like that again, you will be kneeling for a _very _different reason."

He began to laugh, and picked me up into his arms. He swung me around and kissed me a million times over. The crowd was cheering so loud, it was almost deafening. But I didn't care.

Finally when all the chaos had gone and moved on, Tom came into the house with me and my mother. Chris had opted to go back to the hotel he was staying at to give us our privacy. I still thank him to this day for that.

Tom had traveled a long way so I told him to go and take a shower before he stayed awhile. While our reunion had been peaceful, we still needed to talk.

While he was in the shower I talked to my mom for a bit while she made us some tea.

"What do you think of all this mom?"

"Well darling let's put it this way, the man flew hundreds of miles to see you, publicly declared his love for you, and got down on his knees. I think he's a keeper."

She gave me a smirk and a smile as she pulled me in for a hug.

"Just don't forget to do for yourself first and to be happy. I know you two love each other but I don't want to see you so broken ever again."

I told her I would listen to her advice. Being happy was obviously much better than being a depressed cloud like I had been.

When Tom had finished showering and changing, my mother being the wonderful woman she was, took our dog out for a walk so we could be alone. Even after our talk, I still wasn't sure if she was happy or angry to see him. But she was at least treating him cordially.

When we had finally settled in Tom finally began to talk.

"First, let me start off by saying how sorry I am for the pain I've caused you these past months. Believe me I have felt the same. Secondly, thank you for allowing that display in your front yard believe me it was not meant to mock you."

"But why have it at all?" I asked.

He studied me for a long time before he spoke.

"Because you deserved more than I gave you. You deserved a moment to remember like this. I needed you to know that I wasn't ashamed of you. That the world could know about us and that it would be perfectly fine."

He paused for a moment. I didn't say a word. He seemed to have a lot on his mind.

"I was not completely honest with you when I came to visit you in the hospital all those times. You see, the press of course, was all over me every time I went to and from the hospital. All they did was ask questions about you, your condition, what our relationship was. I had remembered what you had said to me the first day you woke up. How they would be there, and that my reputation could change. And I was honest about all that, about how I didn't care what other people thought."

He paused setting his mug down on the table, and he took my hands in his.

"The truth was, I didn't know what to say to them. I told them that you were healing fine, and that you had saved me. That I was eternally grateful. But every time they asked me who you were to me, I always choked. I was afraid if I admitted to them how I felt, it would somehow cause more trouble, especially for you. I was afraid if I told them that I loved you, you would find out before I could tell you. I wanted you to hear it from me not them."

I sat, listening to what he said, but something still didn't seem right. Something was missing.

"I understand that Tom, but I feel like you're leaving something out. What are you not telling me? You could have told me how you felt during all those times when you saw me in the hospital. What about all the messages i have left you over the past few months? Did you get any of those?"

He looked down at our entwined hands, and began rubbing his thumb against my knuckles. I could tell he was trying to collect his thoughts; he looked so pensive.

"I know. And I wanted to. I was going to that night. But I had seen my mother the night before. She wanted me to leave you. Not because she didn't like you, or appreciate what you had done. She just felt like I was wasting my time. That you weren't going to reciprocate my feelings. I know it sounds so ridiculous. She was just being protective. But I became unsure of myself. Something I hate feeling. So when the time came, I choked. For the first time in my life I didn't know what to do. I could feel that you felt the same about me. I think part of me was afraid to jump in. To lose myself in that kind of love. As for your messages I received every single one. I wanted to answer you, believe me I did. But when I heard your voice, the pain you were in, I knew I needed to see you in person. To tell you how sorry I was myself instead of an impersonal text message. So when I was able to, I arranged everything with Chris and we flew here. And well, now here we are."

He shook his head and laughed a bit. It seemed we had been both been fools.

"Then I went back to my mother's conversation with me, and for a moment I thought 'what if she is right?' I guess I wouldn't have been able to handle the rejection. So I said goodbye to you and ran."

I could see the shame he had in his eyes as he said this. I ran a hand through this soft hair.

"Oh Tom I can't say I blame her. I think I was a bit oblivious to you, and you to me. Of course I loved you, I still do. I just didn't say anything because I thought it would ruin the friendship we had made. Or that maybe you didn't feel the same way. I guess we both acted like idiots."

He smiled at me. Boy could he light up a freakin room.

"So you really do love me?" He asked happily.

"I do, and I think I always will."

We were silenced after that, with our kissing doing the talking for us. I was happy. No beyond happy. How in the world could something like this really happen?

He kissed me deep. He kissed me long. He kissed me with a passion that I had never felt before in my entire life. He kissed me slowly. He kissed me until the heat between us became unbearable.

But there was still one question plaguing my mind. I pulled away so we could breathe, and so I could ask him what was on my mind.

"I just have one more question for you."

"What is it?" He asked apprehensively.

"What about the trial? About Charlie? I never heard anything, and I want to testify like I was supposed to."

Suddenly Tom looked at me very grave. I didn't have the best feeling in the world in the pit of my stomach.

"The reason you haven't heard anything is because there will be no trial."

"Why the hell not?" I asked angrily.

"Because Charlie killed himself about two months ago."

I felt my mouth fall open. I remember being horrified. I couldn't believe it.

"But why I haven't I heard anything in the news? Why didn't one of your staff call me?"

"Because nobody knows but the people involved. We didn't call you because I wanted to tell you myself. I guess jail, and guilt was too much for him. He also had bi-polar depression, and schizophrenia."

I felt a knot for in my stomach. I asked a question that I don't think I really wanted the answer to.

"How?" I asked hesitantly.

"I will spare you the gruesome details, but let's just say he somehow got his hands on a kitchen knife."

I winced. Jesus.

Tom was right, I didn't need to hear anymore. He wrapped me in his arms and we sat like that until my mother came home.

When we told her what had happened, she didn't cry or seem relieved. She just took it for what it was.

"So what now?" I asked Tom.

"Well, now we go on with our lives. Together. But how about we start with a few real dates. After all, I never saw you outside your hospital bed."

I laughed at that. He was right. This was the first time he was seeing me dressed as a normal human being.

"This is very true. I must look so normal to you now!" I giggled.

"Yes, normal. But very beautiful."

I blushed as we continued to hold hands. I had a feeling we would be inseparable, joined at the hip.

"Well you don't look so bad yourself." I lowered my voice. "Especially when you are kneeling."

I winked at him and he gave me a chuckle.

"Oh you do, do you? Hmm I'll have to keep that in mind for the future."

He spoke slyly, and I swear it went straight to my brain. The next few months would prove that life would become very interesting. Because after all, I was with this crazy, funny, loving, joking, caring man. And it turns out life can be pretty damn spectacular when you're with the man of your dreams.


	4. May I?

February 7, 2015

I'm home alone today. Tom had a meeting with some people from a production company, but I don't know if it's about Marvel, or something new.

So far the new year has been good to us. My mother is coming to visit for a month in a couple of weeks, and we spend a lot of time with his family.

We have even been able to spend plenty of free time together. My job has been going well, and life has been better than ever.

I left last time on a happy note, as I was truly happy, but we did face some major challenges in the coming months. Dating being one of them.

It didn't take me long to relocate to London. I knew the minute I agreed to be with him, to give our relationship a chance, I would have to move. And I was honestly fine with that. I found a new job within a month, and Tom helped me find a beautiful apartment very close to his own home. We wanted to take things at a steady pace, so moving in together would have to wait.

The challenging part?

The media.

The scary part?

Meeting the rest of his family.

Since the whole "media display of affection" as I liked to call it, we hadn't gotten to see too much of each other. With filming constantly, attending social media gatherings, and my busy work schedule, Tom and I didn't have much alone time. Oh don't get me wrong, attending some of the award ceremonies, and other movie film type stuff was fun, but it wasn't time for us to really talk and get to know each other more. I mean I would always be there to support Tom, so of course I agreed to go to every event he was invited to. I just wish we had some "couple " time. You know?

And of course the media kept hounding us constantly.

_"When are you two moving in together?"_

_"Are you guys secretly engaged?"_

_"When's the wedding?"_

_"Will there be kids in the future?"_

It was a constant barrage of questions that were meant to stab into our personal lives, and of course Tom would not tolerate that intrusion, so most of the time we had to go to places that were secluded. Like if we wanted to go shopping together, or see a movie. All done in secret. But, at the same time, that part was nice because those were some of the times we were together, completely alone. Him and I lived for those times.

The next ugly challenge I had to face?

The threats.

Yes. I got threats. From fans. Fans who thought they were always going to be the ones to end up with Tom. It seems that while I had a nice group of people what were grateful for me saving Tom's life, there were others who had wished they were me. Lovely. Because being shot and everything was such a joy. Don't misunderstand me-I would do it again in a heartbeat for that man. In a heartbeat. I guess I just never understood the crazy thinking of some people.

So there was that to deal with. The threats started coming some days after Tom's big declaration of love on TV. I got threats that if I ever left him or cheated on him I would be murdered in my sleep; you know the cliché nonsense like that. I took it in stride. Tom however did not. Frankly I never saw him so infuriated when the first set of threats came over the media. (Gotta love Twitter) Well, needless to say Tom put a stop to that. Nipped it in the bud as it were. He held a personal press conference addressing everything, and he was firm, and well-very intimidating. I have to say I liked that part the most.

So that finally settled down and I could concentrate on packing starting my new life in London.

It was July, and I had only been in London for a couple of weeks. I was still setting up and unpacking my apartment, and trying to assimilate into this new life. I was fitting well into my new job, and Lila decided she would come and stay with me for awhile to help out. I was grateful she was here. I think she knew that pretty well.

As her and I were taking a break one evening from setting up my kitchen, there was a buzz at the intercom. I set my wine glass down on the table and got up to answer.

"Yes?"

"It's Tom can I come up?"

"Of course!"

I buzzed him in, and within a few minutes there was a soft knock on the door. I opened it and he came dashing into the room, picking me up in his arms, gently kissing me. I never got tired of that. Ever.

"Hello there Lila." He said after he set me down.

She rolled her eyes at our blatant display of affection.

"Hi Tom. What's all the excitement?" She asked.

I quirked an eyebrow at him agreeing with her. Besides the fact that he was pretty much happy all the time, he seemed like something really exciting was going to happen.

"Well, it seems my mother is hosting a bit of a party, so to speak. She has even consented to inviting my father. Basically it goes like this: she wants to see you again, and my sisters and family are dying to meet you."

I felt elated and afraid all at the same time. You see I hadn't seen his mother since that one night at the hospital. And even though Tom and I had been together for a few months already, she hadn't really acknowledged us.

"She does?" I asked pensively.

I must have looked horrified because Lila and Tom both started laughing at me.

"Yes. Despite her doubts, she's happy for us and wants to see you."

"When is it?" I asked.

"In a week. She figured it would give us enough time to get ready, and I'm flying your mom out. My mother wants to meet her as well And Lila you are invited too, you are, after all, her best friend."

I couldn't believe it. She really wanted to see me again. And she was letting me bring my mother and my best friend. I felt stunned, just absolutely stunned.

"Well then. I guess we have a party to get ready for!" I said excitedly.

Tom looked happier than ever. I loved seeing him like that. All day, every day.

The next week went by fairly fast. Mom arrived a few days later, and us three girls went out shopping for nice dresses to wear. We were told that it would be somewhat of a fancy event, so we did our best to look especially nice. Tom and I were only able to go on one date during the week, but we were happy.

Finally, the evening had arrived. I had my mom, Lila and I driven over separately as I didn't want Tom to see what I had picked out to wear. I was nervous and even though mom and Lila were doing their best to reassure me, I still had a lot of doubts.

_What if they don't like me? What if they think Tom chose the wrong woman? Or that he is making a huge mistake?_

But I had to put my stressful thoughts aside.

When we arrived, I was surprised to see how quiet it was outside. I was shocked that the press wasn't even here. Normally they would be all over an event like this in a New York minute. But tonight there wasn't a soul around except for cars being parked and guests arriving. This felt way more than a family get together. I felt like I was Cinderella arriving at the ball.

When we knocked on the front door of a large, beautiful house, we were greeted by Tom's mother, Diana. She was wearing a lovely light blue dress, and had a warm, inviting smile on her face.

"Hello my dear! Welcome! It's so nice to see you."

I introduced my mother and Lila, and Diana gave them warm and inviting hugs. She then took me by the hand and led me inside. I swear I felt like we were in a fairy tale. The place was decorated with flowers, the place smelled of delicious foods, and beautiful music was playing. I felt like I was walking in a dream. Why was this such a fancy event? I didn't really understand, but I went with it.

Diana took us around and I met Tom's family. His father, his two sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. It seemed the whole shin dig was packed with just Tom's family. I never knew he was part of such a large group of people. And they were wonderful people. But I still hadn't seen the object of my affection as Diana led us around the house. Finally, she brought us into a main dining room, and there he was.

He turned and when we looked at each other we both caught our breaths. He looked stunning in a black suit. It seemed like his trademark. He came over to me slowly and took my hands in his.

He looked me up and down and had me twirl for him. Now I _really_ felt like Cinderella at the ball. BUt the best part? I already had the prince.

"You look absolutely lovely. Stunning actually." He sighed contentedly.

He smiled and the crinkles beside his eyes widened. I loved when he smiled with his eyes.

I had picked out an emerald green strapless dress. I wore velvet green heels, and jewelry my mother had given me. My hair was up and I had applied only a little make up. Lila and my mom had freaked out at the store since it was the first dress I tried on, and it had fit me perfectly and as they put it, was a "knock out."

I think it was, considering the look on Tom's face. He gave me a smile and offered the crook of his arm, which I gladly accepted.

The rest of the evening passed without any trouble. We all had a wonderful time and Tom scarcely let me out of his sight. His family were all wonderful, and my mother and Lila were having a wonderful time. Lila especially. It seemed that she had caught the eye of one of Tom's older cousins. I kept grinning at her the whole evening.

When it was time to leave, I said goodbye to everyone, and Diana gave me one of the warmest hugs I had ever received.

"Thank you for coming. And being there for my son. I'm sorry if I seemed rude or skeptical before. I guess you could say I'm just a bit overprotective. But you and I are going to be very good friends."

I felt joyful. His mother was so genuine, and his family seemed to love me. All my anxiety and nervousness went away.

As we stepped out into the night to wait for our car, Tom joined us.

"Listen dear, why don't you let Tom take you home. Lila and I are going back to the hotel. She wants to see my room!" My mother said happily.

I gave her a look. What was she up to? She only smiled at me as the car came round and they were whisked off into the night.

Tom kissed me on the cheek as he walked me to his car. I couldn't have been happier. He opened the passenger side door for me, and I slid into his comfortable Jaguar. Always the gentleman. Chivalry was so not dead with Tom, and I absolutely adored that about him.

As we drove along, the city lights passed by in a blur. I saw low lights in houses, people walking along the street. It was quiet, and the only sound I could hear was the humming of the car, and my heart beat. Tom's hand was warm in mine.

When we stopped, I noticed we were not at my apartment but his home. He buzzed through the gate and parked, and was opening my door in an instant.

"I thought you and I could spend the remainder of the evening here, at my place."

My heart was already melting. How could I say no?

But suddenly he stopped and looked at me patiently.

"Do you want to come in?" He asked anxiously.

That was Tom. Always putting other's needs before his own. I realized in an instant that he wanted to know if I was ready to take a very serious step in our relationship. I didn't even hesitate. But I know if I had, he would have respected my decision. He was so wonderful like that.

"Yes." I stated simply.

It was all I could get out before he engulfed me in a deep kiss. We barely made it through the front door. I think we were tired of moving at a slow and steady pace, regardless of what people may have thought. I know I was. When you feel a fire for someone, it's hard to suppress it, or even put it out.

He took me into his living room, and he left me for only a brief moment to turn on some music. When he returned he had a sly smile on his face.

"I don't think you and I have had the pleasure yet of dancing together." He said happily.

I smiled at him as I set my purse down on a nearby chair. He immediately took me in his arms and we began to sway with the soft music. It was in a word; perfect. He twirled me and held me close. He kissed my forehead, and wrapped his arms around me. I don't know how long we stayed like that. It could have been mere minutes. It could have been hours. Tom always knew how to romance me. Always.

As we continued to dance, he spoke softly beside my ear:

"Did you enjoy tonight?"

"Very much so. But I do have a question." I replied softly.

"Oh? What's that love?"

"Why was this family get together so fancy? I mean, I'm not complaining i had a wonderful time, I was just wondering."

Tom smiled, chuckling softly into my ear.

"Because my mother, just like me, is a fan of grand gestures. She wanted you to feel like a princess, and wanted you, your mom and Lila to feel welcome. My mother has felt very guilty about her behavior toward you last time she saw you. She wanted to repay you with this lavish party."

I was speechless. That his mother would go through all the trouble-I felt an extremely warm rush of affection for her and the family. But Tom had more to say.

"My mother and I had a long conversation about how I felt about you, and you me. I told her how our lives are going to be, and she can either be a part of that, or leave us alone. I'm an adult free to make my own decisions, and I think for a while she lost sight of that. I know she only has my best interests at heart like any parent, but I won't tolerate her butting into our lives. She understands now that she made a mistake, and her behavior was inappropriate. Now she only wants your forgiveness."

"Of course she has my forgiveness. Tom, I really loved meeting all of your family tonight, and the fact that you and Diana included my mother and Lila-well I'm just beside myself." I replied with a blush.

We were still dancing cheek to cheek when he suddenly pulled away to look at me and cupped the side of my face.

"I'm so incredibly glad you are with me. I hope you know how much I truly love you. And not just because you saved my life. But for all that you are."

He leaned down then and kissed my shoulder where I had been wounded. You could barely see it, but if you looked close enough I had a slight scar from where they stitched me up. The minute his lips touched my skin, I felt the burn. This longing I always felt when I was with him. For something, something no words could ever describe. He continued to kiss me up my shoulder to my neck. A trail of fire he left behind.

I remember him kissing me for a long time, as the music echoed around us. I remember that at some point it began to rain outside, and the sound of thunder could be heard in the distance.

I remember his touch, the taste of his mouth, his tongue. I remember him holding me gently in his arms as our hearts beat together to the rhythm of the song. I can't remember what music was playing, but if I heard it today I know I would know it.

I remember him picking me up in his arms and taking me to his bedroom. I remember the power going out and how we laughed.

I remember him lighting candles as I sat on his bed. Lightening illuminating the room, and his beautiful face. I remember the sound of blood rushing in my ears when he sat down next to me, caressing my shoulder blades, and kissing my ear.

I had dreamt about this moment for a long time. I had had my expectations and how I wanted it to go. But now that I think back, it was perfect. Exactly as it should have been. In the moment I realized, damn my expectations, what was meant to be will be. His touch, his kiss, it was all I could think about.

I thought I would have been nervous, would have been scared. But I wasn't. I remember I got up from his bed and turned around with my back towards him, and let him unzip my dress in one fluid motion. It was on the floor in an instant.

I remember our heavy breaths as he started to kiss me again and feeling his hot, light touch everywhere. How the feel of his hands on my bare skin felt. I remember him taking his suit jacket off, and the shirt underneath. I remember feeling like I was drifting in and out of some lovely dream that I never wanted to wake up from.

It didn't take long for the rest of our clothes to come off. But everything was slow, deliberate. We were savoring every kiss, every touch. My core burned for him. And he burned for me.

When we touched each other all I could hear was the mingling of our moans, and the sound of the rain pouring on the windows. When he finally laid me down beneath him, we were both ready for the passion. Ready for the fire.

We made love for what seemed like hours. There was nothing. Nothing at all but our two souls entwining. Our worlds colliding. The thunder roaring over our cries. I remember when it was over we laid in each other's arms listening to the storm raging outside. We ourselves were a storm. And we knew we would rage on forever if we were allowed. At one point he looked over at me, stroking my hair. There was nothing but pure contentment written across his face. I could get lost in his eyes forever if he let me. Quietly he asked:

"Will you stay?" asked he.

"If I may?" said I.

"You may." said he.

"Then I'll stay." said I.

And so I stayed. For as long as I would be allowed to, I would stay.


	5. Epilogue

February 14, 2015

So it's a Saturday, but also Valentine's day. I just got home from a lovely day at the spa. Courtesy of you-know-who. He has had my whole day planned out, and is going to pick me up soon for a lovely romantic dinner. It may seem cliché to some people, but I like how cliché we are. I wouldn't want it any other way.

So my tale is done. How we met, how we fell in love. Our challenges, our doubts. But now we go through life, and go with the flow. Yes the media is still a pain. But it is what it is. I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

I can't wait until mom comes to visit again. I think she almost loves him more than I do! But, I think she has a date of her own tonight. Fortune has struck us all as of late. So if anyone ever finds this. This little piece of a memory of the bigger picture of life. Please know we are happy. Happy beyond compare. And if anyone finds this, I hope you find the happiness I have found. It's all I wish for. Bu if you don't have it then I wish you this:

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Yours Truly.


End file.
